Bowlful of Youth Gone Bad
by SnogginGodess
Summary: Alanna makes a complex youth potion, and it accidently gets eaten by her dinner guests. Can she survive toddler versions of Kel, George, Daine and others?
1. The Youth Potion

Disclaimer: I AM GOD! I OWN EVERYTHING! Wait, is that blasphemy. *does sign of cross* Er... I do  
not own these characters...anymore...I sold them to TP for millions! muahaha! This is a "5 minute story"  
very simple, no plot, blah blah blah.   
  
Alanna looked at the mixture excitedly. "George! Lookit what Numair taught me!" She waved a bowl of  
purple liquid around. "It's called 'Bowlful of Youth'. If a drink one teaspoon every night, I won't appear to   
age. If I drink two, it'll set me back a year. Very...interesting, huh?" she gloated.  
  
"No, scary," George said. "What if you take to much?"  
  
"Dunno, don't care," Alanna said, waving a hand carelessly. "Have our other guests arrived?"  
  
"Yes, Kel, Neal, Cleon, Daine, and Numair are all here," George said. "The food will be served, too."  
  
Alanna walked into the dining room, leaving her youth potion behind. Unfortunately, the cook mistook it  
for gravy and dumped it onto the turkey. Uh-oh!  
  
The dishes were passed around, and everyone was enjoying theirselves. Just as the cook brought the   
turkey in, Alanna realized that she needed to use the bathroom. "Oh, eat while I'm gone don't wait."  
  
Every dug in, saying how "magnificent" the "seasoning" was. Suddenly *POP* Kel transformed into  
a toddler. She cried as *POP* Cleon, *POP* Neal *POP* Daine, *POP*, Numair and *POP* George turned  
to toddlers, too. Alanna heard a great deal of crying and rushed back in. She saw six toddlers staring at her,  
teary-eyed. Suddenly they all opened theirs mouths and cried out, "MOOOOOOMY!"  
  
"What the hell?" Alanna gasped. She ran to the kitchen. The potion was gone. She raced back to the   
dining room. It wasn't a pretty site. Cleon was picking his nose, Daine was screaming as Numair poked   
her, George was gnawing on the tablecloth, and Kel was chasing Neal yelling, "Eat! Kill! Eat!"  
  
(do you like it? Is it worth continuing? Please review. Thank you! :-* SMOOCH! ) 


	2. Naughty Little Children

Alanna stood, dumbstruck. Time seemed to freeze for a minute. Then, "AGHHHHHHHH!" Daine   
screamed into Numair's ear. That made him cry. Like a chain reaction, everyone began sobbing.   
  
"SHHHHH!" Alanna said. "Um, do you want a cookie?" All the tears stopped, eyes brightened.   
  
"Cookie! I want CHOCOLATE!" Daine said.  
  
"I want SUGAR!" George yelled.  
  
"PICKLE!" screamed Cleon. "NO COOKIE! PICKLE!"  
  
"I wanna eeaaattt!" Neal yelled. "I wanna eat...um...um....," his voice trailed off.  
  
"You're a dummy," Kel said. "DUMB DUMB DUMMY!"   
  
Tears welled up in Neal's eyes. Then he bit Kel. "Yummmm," he said, as Kel ran, crying to Alanna.  
  
Alanna used her Gift to soothe Kel's pain and went to deal with Neal. "Neal, we DO NOT bite," she had  
started when -CRASH! Numair knocked over a vase. He smiled. "BOOM BOOM!" He ran over to another   
vase. "BOOM BOOM!" he said, reaching out to push it over, but Alanna grabbed his hand.   
  
She was picking up glass when Daine kicked her. "I wanna cookie," she said meekly when Alanna shot   
her an angry glare. "ME TOO!" George yelled. "COOOKIE!"  
  
Alanna raced into the kitchen. She grabbed a pickle for Cleon, but couldn't find any cookies. She ran back.   
George and Daine looked at her, eyes wide, Cleon happily sucked his pickle, Kel was still whimpering,   
Numair was headed for another vase, muttering, "CRASH BASH SMASH!" while Neal was slowly  
sneaking up behind Kel, teeth bared.  
  
"How about a story?" Alanna asked. The children ran over to a couch and sat down, like little angels.   
As if. Alanna cleared her throat. "Once upon a time, there was a princess," she began.  
  
Neal bit Kel again. "The princess got married and had six bad children. One was a biter."  
  
Kel screeched and smacked him. "One was rather...loud and pushy."  
  
Daine poked Numair roughly in the stomach and giggled. "One was a mean little flirt."  
  
George was picking his nose. "One was a bit...nasty."  
  
Cleon was loudly slurping his pickle, singing, "Oh, pickle! You taste pickle-y!" over and over. "One  
was annoying," Alanna continued.  
  
Numair ripped a pillow open. "One was a home wrecker," Alanna said through gritted teeth. "So the  
princess committed suicide and the bad children were riddled with guilt. The end," she finished, just  
as Kel and Cleon got into a mad fight over the pickle, and Daine poked Numair in the eye for kissing  
George.   
  
"Marvelous," Alanna said, dryly. 


	3. Playing House

"I wanna play house," Kel announced.  
  
"OH! I'm the MOMMY!" Cleon jumped up, abandoning the pickle.  
  
"NO! I AM!" Daine yelled. "And, Numair's the daddy," she said, flirtaciously.  
  
"No, I'm the Grandpa!" Numair said. "Hello, young'uns. When I was your age, I walked fifteen miles in the   
snow, uphill both ways to get to school."   
  
"I'M THE MOMMY!" Cleon cried.  
  
"MEOW!" said George. "I'm a PUPPY!"  
  
"You're a kitty, honey," Alanna told her husband. "Daine, let Cleon be the mommy. You can be the...um..  
something."  
  
"NO! PUPPY!" George said, biting her.   
  
Alanna glared at her husband. "Goddess, what a baby," she muttered.  
  
"I'M THE BABY!" Daine announced. "Gaa goo gurk!  
  
"I don't wanna be a puppy anymore," George announced. "NOW, I'm the BIG SISTER!"  
  
"And I'M the daddy," Kel said, happily as she eyeballed "Mommy" Cleon.  
  
Neal, who had been quiet up until that point announced, with great pride, "I'M the TOOTH FAIRY!"  
  
Alanna sat down and watched as "Mommy" began to "make breakfast" using some lint he   
found in his pocket. "Oh, GEORGE! BABY DAINE! GRANDPA! TOOTH FAIRY! HONEY!   
BREAKFAST is READY!"   
  
"I'm GeorgINA!" George announced. "And this breakfast tastes like poo."  
  
"How dare you speak to your mother that way?" Cleon asked, shocked.  
  
"POO!" Daine said, in a baby voice.  
  
"When I was your age there WAS no POO!" Numair announced.  
  
"I eat teeth," Neal said seriously. "Not poo."  
  
"EAT YOUR POO!" Kel commanded. "Your mother made nice poo for all of you and you're gonna eat  
it AND LIKE IT!"  
  
"It's NOT poo!" Cleon cried. "It's PANCAKES!"  
  
"Oh," Kel said. "WELL, EAT YOUR PANCAKES THEN!"  
  
Cleon smiled. "Grandpa, you need your fiber."  
  
"Poo," Daine repeated.  
  
"NO! PANCAKES!" Cleon insisted.  
  
George sniffed Daine. "Poo," he announced.  
  
"NOT ME!" Daine yelled. She giggled and pointed to Numair. "FART!" she yelled.  
  
"NUMAIR FARTED!" Kel laughed. "I mean...leave Grandpa alone."  
  
"I didn't fat," Numair mumbled, blushing.  
  
"Eat," Cleon said. "I slaved in the kitchen for HOURS!"   
  
"This tastes bad," George said, ripping a huge hunk of lint off and chewing. "I don't like it." With that, he   
spit it onto the floor.  
  
Cleon gasped. "OH, KEL! My daughter hates me!" Cleon began to cry.  
  
"Georgina, you're bad," Daine said.  
  
"When I was your age, I was bad," Numair announced.  
  
"I eat teeth," Neal repeated, eyeing Kel.  
  
"Neal," Alanna warned. "Don't even think about it."  
  
Neal looked at the ground. "But I'm the TOOTH FAIRY," he mumbled.  
  
"Georgina," Kel said," you made you're mother cry so I'm gonna beat you with a spatula." She kissed  
Cleon's head.  
  
"NO!" George said. "I'M NOT PLAYIN' ANYMORE."  
  
Kel ran over to Alanna. "Do you have a spatula so I can punish my son?" she asked.  
  
"No," Alanna said. "Be nice."  
  
"Can I spank him?" she asked, hopeful.  
  
"No," Alanna said. "No spanking, either."  
  
"Can I smack him?"   
  
"No, Keladry."  
  
"Can I...um...punch him?"   
  
"No. Now go play."  
  
Kel walked back, grumbling. She said down, scowling. Cleon was crying, Numair was running away from   
Daine, George was keeping his distance from Kel, and Neal was no where in sight. THEN...  
  
"AGGGHHHHH!" he jumped on Kel. "TEEEETH!"  
  
Alanna ripped him off. "GODS HELP ME!" she moaned. 


	4. Nap Time

Soon after, Neal was placed in time-out for continous attacks on Kel. Alanna looked at all the children.   
She had to keep them busy somehow. "Naptime," she said.   
  
"NOOOOOO!" everyone yelled.  
  
"YESSSS!" Alanna hissed back. "I'm kind of your mother now, I guess. So, therefore, you have to obey   
me."  
  
"I'M their mother," Cleon corrected, and Alanna rolled her eyes.  
  
"Naptime. NOW. I'll get pillows, you can sleep on the floor. I'm NOT letting you monsters mess up my  
guest bedrooms," Alanna said.  
  
"Monsters? WHERE?!" Numair's eyes got wide.   
  
"Nowhere," Alanna mumbled. She returned with an armload of pillows and blankets. "Here," she said,   
arranging them on the floor.  
  
"I wanna sleep in a BED," Daine said.  
  
"I wanna sleep on the sofa," Kel said.  
  
"I wanna sleep on a chair," George informed Alanna.  
  
"I wanna sleep on the table," Numair said.  
  
"I'll sleep on the floor," Neal shrugged. He glared at Kel. "I'll get you," he mouthed.  
  
"Nealan? Do you need to go sit in the corner again?" Alanna asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Yes," Neal said. "That's where I'M gonna sleep." He dragged his blanket and pillow off.  
  
"I wanna sleep on the roof," Cleon told everyone.   
  
"YAY! ON THE ROOF!" everybody yelled (except for Neal who was quite adament about sleeping in the   
corner.)  
  
"No. Sleep on the floor," Alanna said, sitting on the couch. "I'm watching all of you until everyone is   
asleep, and if anybody causes trouble, they are in for it."  
  
"Is 'it' chocolate?" George asked, hopeful.  
  
"No, it's not," Alanna said.  
  
"Well, I guess I'll be good then," George sighed. He closed his eyes for a minute. "Is 'it' a cookie?"  
  
"No, George. Sleep. NOW."  
  
Alanna sat back. Her eyelids felt heavy. She closed them, and was soon asleep.  
  
"Okay, she's asleep. Let's go upstairs!" Kel said, excited. 


	5. The Pearls and Charms

The children crept upstairs, as quietly as they could. It actually sounded like a heard of small elephants,  
  
but Alanna was in a deep sleep. They walked down a hallway, giggling.  
  
"Let's go in here!" Daine said, pushing a door opened.   
  
It was Alanna and George's room. A blue silk comforter covered the big sleigh bed. Numair ran a finger  
  
across it. "It's soft," he said, placing a cheek up against it. Everyone followed, saying how nice it was.  
  
"It's mine," George said, smugly. "Let's jump on the bed."  
  
Neal crawled up, slipping slightly on the comforter. He jumped and landed softly on the feather mattress.  
  
George, Numair, and Daine joined him, while Cleon and Kel dug through Alanna's dresser drawers.  
  
"Ewwww," Cleon complained, holding up a tight, red nightgown.   
  
Kel began rummaging through a box of charms. She held up a box labeled "pregnancy charm" and   
  
another labeled "fertility charm". She switched the two around.   
  
  
  
Cleon, tired of jumping on the bed, began to tug at a pearl necklace. It broke, and beads scattered.  
  
Numair hopped off to put one in his mouth. Daine, of course, did the same. George placed on in his  
  
nose, which was rather large.  
  
Dowstairs, Alanna woke with a start. The children were gone! She heard giggles from upstairs.  
  
so she ran up. She found them, all with pearls in their mouths and noses, laughing madly. She  
  
sighed, and began walking around, collecting pearls. When every nose and mouth had been   
  
cleared of pearls, Alanna reached into her jewelry box. She pulled out a box labeled "pregnancy  
  
charm" and slid the necklace around her neck.  
  
"I'm NEVER EVER taking this off EVER again!" she sighed. 


	6. The Visitor

Alanna had ushered the children downstairs. "Sit and stay sat, you evil demons," she told them, her patience all used up. "I you MOVE I swear by the Goddess, you'll regret it!" She stomped into another room to cool down, when there was a loud knock at the door.  
  
The children all scrambled to get it. Then, Cleon fell over and brought Daine down with him, who grabbed Numiar, who tripped George, who poked Kel, who knocked over a glass figure. Neal quickly caught it.   
  
Alanna looked at Neal, shocked. "THANK you, Neal!" she said, dazed. "That was very nice of you."  
  
He smiled at her, and began to walk over to hand it to her, when he slipped on his bootlace. Alanna scrunched up her eyes as the figure crashed.  
  
"Ooops," Neal murmured. Kel pointed at him and began to laugh. Neal turned bright red and turned towards her. "Teeth," he murmured.  
  
  
  
"Neal, let's see who's at the door!" Alanna said brightly. "Hm, I'm rather getting this whole motherhood thing," she whispered to herself.  
  
  
  
Neal ran to the door, the other children following. "HELLLLLOOOOOO!" he called, swinging it open. He glared at the woman. "I'm the tooth fairy, and this is Georgina." He poked George.  
  
"I'M their mother," Cleon announced, importantly.  
  
"Alanna, why are there children here?" Thayet asked. "I thought I would come over and gossip, eat, drink, and gossip."  
  
"Um, it's a long story. Come in," Alanna said, opening the door wider. "Go sit down while I find something to amuse the heathens with."  
  
  
  
While Thayet walked into the sitting room, Alanna turned to the children. "Okay, I HAVE to talk to Thayet. You are going to all go to...um....go to...the infirmiry. Maude'll know what to do with you. All right? Come on, then." She began leading them down the hall.  
  
George kept looking over his shoulder. "What are you looking at?" Alanna asked her minature husband.   
  
"That woman. She's GORGEUS!" he said. "I wish she was my mommy."  
  
"No, I'm your mommy. Er, I'm your wife...er...oh, forget it. She's a hag. Really. You should see her when she wakes up in the morning. Or cries. Oh, forget it. You're right. She's gorgeus," Alanna sighed. She pushed the children through a door. "Maude, amuse them!" she yelled, racing down the hall. Finally, some alone time! 


End file.
